We call it Destiny, yet when we see it unfolding in front of us we get afraid, some end up saying “I didn’t want this!”
ayahuasca, dance, dawn, death, discovery, drugs, kiss, life, love, meditation, Messenger, nature, now, photography, poetry, psychedelic, re-birth, reflection, search, sex, Spirituality, travelling, universe, woman
Do you know the feeling of when entering a cave, while outside the cold wind blows so hard that it tears off your skin – a devilish rupture? The first assimilation of the senses, is the welcoming warm humidity of the cave, a cosines that reminds me of home – the womb. Where all exterior sounds and noises fade in the echoing melody of water droplets falling gracefully to their destiny of rock. Placed myself in the depths of the cave, staring at walls that recited the story written in scars on my own body.
For Her, a name would be vain.
Her face, on each drop of rain.
The messenger that comes as thunder cutting through the sky,
silencing our secret dreams at break of dawn,
bringing the demise of our mediocre lies.
She won’t ignore our pleas, our cries,
but Her duty she must fullfill.
She will come to take with Her the children of night,
those that howl at the pale Moon,
those that dance like beasts around fire,
those that breathe the hurricane winds of stormy seas,
those that have fallen from Heaven to save what was once lost.
Let’s meet Her fury on the edge of time,
for yesterday and tomorrow death has come.
On rocky shores we will stand naked,
singing songs to Her and praises.
While the relentless waves carve the land in their own image,
blades of grass cut through the winds of change
– winds that burn History’s page.
The slaughter of time has saved us.
Greet Her with open hearts,
cause She is gentle,
She is a Mother,
A mysterious Lover.
Since my childhood I searched for something. As soon as I thought I had found it, I would realize that it wasn’t it. I searched for friends, lovers, a family in my own enemies, than finally I found something! I found drugs who could numb my pain. But still I kept on searching till I got exhausted and a neighbour to Death. This dark lady took care of me and said; “It’s not yet your turn my child. There are yet so many things I want you to fullfill in this lifetime. Please go and recite to people that I am not to fear, for they have misunderstood, mispoken, and misinterpreted me. I love you my sweet child, I am giving to you the gift of re-birth and baptise you under my name.”
From that moment my fears lessoned, I accepted the mortality and frailty of my human body. Finally the search was coming to it’s end, for in the absence of fear sprouted in me Love. Than I knew, aah! It was what I was looking for, the Love that comes from within. A source of creation through creativity. A Love that is not needy or dependant on others or outside sources.
If I am searching for fire, how will I know that is fire if I have never seen one?
I might see forests burning and celebratory bonfires, and I would say;
“Wow that’s nice, but that is not fire!”
– Is it?
Being in touch with life puts us in a place where we are constantly griefing the loss of something; the death of someone, forceful detachment brought on us by change for example. This is at least what I believe. A belief that I gained by being aware of what was going inside of me through the last year, when I quit drugs that were killing my body, mind and spirit.
It’s like when our birthday comes. We grief another year that has passed upon us, realizing how much more things we could have done, dreams we failed to realize, words we wanted to say to our loved ones but didn’t have to courage to express. Besides, no one likes getting one year older except for the young teeenagers. But while we grief for that year passed, subconciously we are making space for the new. A celebration started! We are celebrating that newly found space in us, in which fresh water will flow, giving life to some mesmerizing flower. That flower is you!
Some of us, like myself, ask the question; “but is it wrong to feel nothing or next to nothing when someone dies or departs?”
Yes, some of us don’t feel as much as they think they should, I am one of them. The thing is, that when we see Life as it is – Birth and Death, Death and Birth, we accept these losses as part of this great loving scheme of creation. So no, it’s not wrong to feel nothing or next to nothing, because you are one of us dancers that dance between the shadows and light, accepting the totality of Life!
We are here to dance in celebration of ourselves and others. To dance and sing all through our way to death!