ayahuasca, dance, dawn, death, discovery, drugs, kiss, life, love, meditation, Messenger, nature, now, photography, poetry, psychedelic, re-birth, reflection, search, sex, Spirituality, travelling, universe, woman
Do you know the feeling of when entering a cave, while outside the cold wind blows so hard that it tears off your skin – a devilish rupture? The first assimilation of the senses, is the welcoming warm humidity of the cave, a cosines that reminds me of home – the womb. Where all exterior sounds and noises fade in the echoing melody of water droplets falling gracefully to their destiny of rock. Placed myself in the depths of the cave, staring at walls that recited the story written in scars on my own body.
For Her, a name would be vain.
Her face, on each drop of rain.
The messenger that comes as thunder cutting through the sky,
silencing our secret dreams at break of dawn,
bringing the demise of our mediocre lies.
She won’t ignore our pleas, our cries,
but Her duty she must fullfill.
She will come to take with Her the children of night,
those that howl at the pale Moon,
those that dance like beasts around fire,
those that breathe the hurricane winds of stormy seas,
those that have fallen from Heaven to save what was once lost.
Let’s meet Her fury on the edge of time,
for yesterday and tomorrow death has come.
On rocky shores we will stand naked,
singing songs to Her and praises.
While the relentless waves carve the land in their own image,
blades of grass cut through the winds of change
– winds that burn History’s page.
The slaughter of time has saved us.
Greet Her with open hearts,
cause She is gentle,
She is a Mother,
A mysterious Lover.
When we are given birth into this world, we are empty of knowledge, yet full of wisdom. With age, our families, society with it’s schools, employment, and structural programming of chaotic wants and neediness, start to teach us this and that. What time we have to eat. How to eat. What to dress. They try to shape us into something we are not. They try to make us believe that life is hard, so I have to be strong, tough, therefore I don’t have the luxury to feel cause I have to move on to the next thing, and next, and more, more…
The most magnificent journey we are presented with, is that of inner discovery. One that is limitless, where even the sky has no boundaries and the clouds are there to dance on. Most of us travel the Earth to get a sense of the sheer magnificence of all, others travel the dark corners of thought with drugs. Both situations isolate us from the chaotic world of social hierchy and false security. We realise that in Life there is no security. Life herself is a Goddess of insecurities. Through embracing that insecurity we become fearless. We enter a space of continuous newness…a state of godliness.
The unknown is always greater than the known. The known is limited by its own volume. The unknown doesn’t have volume, it cannot be contained.
Life is the journey of discovering one’s Self.
Since my childhood I searched for something. As soon as I thought I had found it, I would realize that it wasn’t it. I searched for friends, lovers, a family in my own enemies, than finally I found something! I found drugs who could numb my pain. But still I kept on searching till I got exhausted and a neighbour to Death. This dark lady took care of me and said; “It’s not yet your turn my child. There are yet so many things I want you to fullfill in this lifetime. Please go and recite to people that I am not to fear, for they have misunderstood, mispoken, and misinterpreted me. I love you my sweet child, I am giving to you the gift of re-birth and baptise you under my name.”
From that moment my fears lessoned, I accepted the mortality and frailty of my human body. Finally the search was coming to it’s end, for in the absence of fear sprouted in me Love. Than I knew, aah! It was what I was looking for, the Love that comes from within. A source of creation through creativity. A Love that is not needy or dependant on others or outside sources.
If I am searching for fire, how will I know that is fire if I have never seen one?
I might see forests burning and celebratory bonfires, and I would say;
“Wow that’s nice, but that is not fire!”
– Is it?
After some paint work and a nature walk in Gozo, rested a bit on our new DIY bed. When I woke up, a vision came to mind, a small clip of me entering the apartment, carpet on the floor saying;
“Welcome! Leave your clothes outside and hang your mind on the provided hat hanger on your left. Thanks!”
That’s what I did, and a couple of hours later I found myself surrounded with friends at a club on the seashore dancing to some mindblowing psychedelic music. Was a night to remember, where faces became painted mirrors, even the stars could not resist the temptation of changing colour in yellow, green and orange to come and dance with us on the dancefloor.
Sunday morning we gathered all around the sun as she woke up. Lullabied gently by the waves hitting the shore, I never saw her in such a vibrant purple sheets of cloud. She was telling us to sit back and relax, and watch her dance, dressed in bright feathers, tip toeing on the sea’s horizon, while our heartbeats bang on the drums. The breeze from the valley behind us blew through the bamboo flute, sending chills up and down our spines.
At the end of her flamboyant show, She said;
“Go home, embrace your families, make love to your enemies, hold tight to your lovers. You have just been born again!”